There is something in our society that programs our daughters, our females to feel inadequate, to apologize for who they are. I often wonder why ‘we”, women apologize for our character? Men, do not do this, it is just expected that we have to accept them; accept them if they are messy, jealous, put most things (even social media) ahead of us.
I too am guilty of doing this; I apologize when I cry, I apologize for loving being communicated with, I apologize for being late, loud, messy…. the list goes on. The reality is, women really need to stop apologizing for their character, for things out of their control, and for basically anything a man wouldn’t apologize for. Professionally, I have a take no prisoners mentality, I do not apologize for doing what is right but when it comes to my personal life, I really allow people to get away with too much. I somehow, justify that I am the one with the problem, the one who should change, the one who is letting someone down. When the truth is; I think of others first, treat people with respect and when someone earns my love and trust, they probably will have it better than ever have had. The problem is; when you constantly apologize, you began to downgrade you worth; like they are doing you a favor “putting up with you”.
Now, do not get me wrong; if you have hurt someone, an apology is always necessary. I am not saying we should disregard others feelings but we need to teach our girls to not downgrade themselves with apologies. Teach them to just accept who they are and trust that others will too. Teach them to trust that their emotions are okay, that being late is inevitable, that is someone doesn’t appreciate them than leave don’t make apologies, teach them to love their quirks and nurture those quirks so they learn to love them.
Our girls should never feel second in any of their relationships; whether they be professional or personal. When we teach them to stop apologizing, they will learn to identify who respects them, who will love them in their entirety, who will listen to their needs. Our girls will be better for it.