I am a self proclaimed unromantic. I am the kind of girl that flowers are wasted on but what I am starting to learn is that doesn’t mean that I do not value romance. On the heels of the most canned and forced day of conventional demonstrations of love, I have been reflecting on what is “romance” anyways. I constantly rant to the girls to identify what speaks to them most when it comes to how love speaks to them because real romance will make you feel internally full not fill a status quo.
Once I started to reflect on the true definition of romance, I realized that I am completely a romantic. So here is what romance is to me.
Spontaneous– Romance is not always a planned intent, it can be a surprise gift or walking in the door after a bad day to a warm prepared meal. Spontaneous romantic gestures show your significant other that you were on their mind; it is an action that can pull you out of a funk.
Fulfilling– Real romance speeds up your heart a little, it fills you with a fullness, and in that moment… nothing can get better. These moments, gestures, actions give you fuel; they are those moments that are uniquely yours and can only be shared between the two of you.
Not Manufactured- Why do we rely on a holiday to show someone how we feel? Every single day, we should commit to making the person we love feel loved, even when we do not feel like it. Little things like texting a stupid meme or picking up their favorite beer are gestures that I find romantic.
Experiences- Find an activity you two love to do together, no I am not speaking about sex, like cooking and then reflect how those memories make you feel. Do you smile? Do you feel fulfilled? Could you feel the intimacy in the laughter? in the creativity? Experiences are very much an expression of romance and for some, that isn’t long walks on the beach and picnics in the woods. It could be crafting beer or going to the gym together.
Intimacy- Not just sex (although, I am a fan, a big fan). Intimacy can be so many things. For me, I am a toucher, I like to feel those I love… I even harass my kids with hugs or playing with their hair but romantically… I like to kiss ( especially in the rain). I like to pass the one I love and brush hands or grab a booty. Intimacy are all those small gestures that show someone how you feel so words are not needed.
I am sure romantic comedies would be far less exciting if I wrote them but imagined how our relationships expand if we are open with how romance speaks to us? I have found that just expressing how things make me feel, lets the one I love know what makes me happy. It has been my experience that this openness has positive results, it takes out of the guess work. On the same note, make sure you listen to the other person as well. Not all people are good at expressing these things, you may just have to pay attention.
What kind of romance speaks to you?