So you want to date a single mom…

Dear Single Man,

So you have chosen to date a single mom, if this is your first time in doing so then let me assist you in understanding a few things.

  1. Yes, I have children… No, i’m not easy– It is true that I have had sex before, that is probably very obvious since I have offspring. This doesn’t mean that I am going to sleep with you after the first date.
  2. I am not looking for a ‘New Daddy’– My children did not divorce their father, I did. My intent to date is to find someone for me, who will eventually love and accept my children but not to find a replacement daddy. However, if we do work out and create a long term relationship, I hope that you will love and be willing to let me share my children with you.
  3. All time that I give you is precious– Don’t take the time I give you for granted, my time is shared between my career and my children, if I find time for you…. i must find you worth that time.
  4. Don’t waste my time– I appreciate that you are clear with your intentions and to always tell me the truth as I will always be clear with what I am looking for. Why is this important? See number 3.
  5. Not for the faint of heart– Deciding to date a single mom takes a brave, bold, and patient man. A single mom already has a full and busy life and routine. I may have to cancel my plans last minute, I may vent about my frustrations with my ex husband, and during our date, it is possible that my teenager will call 47 times in one hour because she doesn’t want to eat pizza at home. Taking this on takes a tremendous amount of understanding.
  6. I am not dating you for a financial gain– I am not dating for the purpose of financial gain, I work and create my own financial well-being.

Dating a single mom means understanding that sometimes you will not come first. You start the relationship with no smoke screen. You get to witness reality right out of the gates, it’s not always romantical. Personally, I am very happy with my life, my intent to date is to find a companion, a long term partner. A partner that I can share my family with, a partner who will want to care for me and love me but also my children.

In closing, single man, you are lucky to find a single mom. She understands how to love and also what it means to lose love. She may ruin your fantasy of starting a picture perfect family since she already has children but do not count her out just because she already has a family.

Taking it one day at a time.

Mom under Siege.


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